Tin ceiling and ensuing hair disaster

3 Jul

Lest you think, dear reader, that I have abandoned the renovation of my bathroom and have just been swanning about researching parlor panthers and napping with dog, I have some photographic evidence to disabuse you of any such notion.

I’ve spent the past two days installing a tin ceiling in my bathroom, in anticipation of the return of the handy-fellow who is returning from vacation and going to start to finish the floor on Monday.

So, tin ceiling installation — learning by doing. I got panels that were billed as glue-up panels that could go straight onto plaster (without the costly, difficult, and time-intensive step of installing plywood on firring strips). The info said to use a certain adhesive and secure them in place with a few nails or screws (basically just to hold them until the glue set). So that’s what I did.

Now, my old ceiling is not level, plumb, smooth, or even in any way. So there are some mighty gaps in places and a bit more nailing was needed than might have been the case on a more even surface. Nevertheless, I’ve got all the panels up — hooray! The cornice is not going well — booo!

The surface size of the cornice that touches the wall is miniscule and there’s no way I can hammer and hold it at the same time. So what I’m going to need is some sort of power-nailer to get that sucker up. I’ve done all the rest of the hammering by hand; keeping it real for the ghosts of Victorians past (and I don’t have a power nailer). I repeatedly hammered my thumb, but found that yelling F*******************CK at the top of my lungs was a tremendous and immediate pain reliever.

The real surprise is the hair disaster. I’m doing all this by myself. I need to hold the glued-up panels in place while I get the hammer and bash my thumb and nails. So what do I use? My head, of course. Well, the adhesive oozes out and gets on things, and the next thing you know, I have a matted mess of super-strong water-resistant permanent adhesive in my hair. Huh.

Internet research suggests a bunch of odd-ball solutions. I’m sitting right now with a half a bottle of goat milk moisturizer gooped onto my head and hoping that in 20 minutes, the insoluble adhesive that holds metal to plaster will magically dissolve. I’m overdue for a haircut anyway, but I think this might require shaving and I don’t know that I really want to take that bold fashion step right now. C’mon moisturizer!!!

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